How do people drag you down?

People in your environment can drag you down in many ways. You may remember your mom telling you that your friend was trouble and you should have known better than hanging out with him or her.
Truth to be told, being with friends who always look for and find trouble is not the only way to be dragged down.

Your energy level changes frequently throughout the day. Depending on what you do and who you are talking to, you may feel great and inspired at the end of the day, or you may feel tired by the end of a meeting. I am sure you know what I am talking about. Who didn’t hear about energy vampires? But I don’t want to talk about energy vampires today.

I’d instead talk about people, even in your immediate environment, who you wouldn’t consider as energy vampires. People who merely by telling their opinion or giving you feedback can set your mood and negatively influence your self-confidence. It sounds scary, doesn’t it?

It is somewhat troubling. We have power over each other. Of course, others will have control over you only in case you let them have it.

You may have a friend, who you have known for ages, and you love, and suddenly things just don’t click the same way they did in the past.
Your friend probably hit a rough patch, and you may or may not know about it, but your friend’s negativity leaves its mark on your life, too.

  • When you have a success you can’t wait to share and meet your bitter friend who finds your success only temporary.
  • When you get a fantastic opportunity which your friend suddenly finds suspicious.

Unless you are very conscious about your friend’s situation and can remember how her or his balanced views helped you before or how different the negativity you experience from your friend is, you may find yourself trying to find out why that particular opportunity wouldn’t work for you or why was your success in fact a failure, without you recognising it.

You can also think about a colleague who shares a job with you and even though you both rely on each other’s efforts and work, this colleague doesn’t seem to care as much as you do. Your colleague, for whatever reason, doesn’t finish the report on time or forgets to send out an important email.
May not be much work to do anyway but if you have to do it instead of this colleague repeatedly, it becomes annoying. Or if you receive negative feedback as a consequence of your colleague’s mistake, it feels off-putting. Mainly because you now form a team and share the success and the responsibility, too.

So, what can you do?

Your plan of action will depend on why your colleague neglects his or her responsibilities.

Don’t be harsh; your colleague may struggle with problems in the family or illness. He or she may be stressed out because of other responsibilities or may already be overloaded with conflicting priorities. Think about the environment you both work in and make your first step accordingly.

Naturally, if you find that your colleague has all the opportunity to deliver on his or her promises, you may schedule a meeting where you can share your thoughts and views about the situation.

Many times, we don’t want to be the bad guys and let others get away with things that annoy us. That might work out for a while, but the time will come when you feel you had enough. Believe me, it is better to have that discussion before you reached the point of no return.

Believe in Yourself

Have you ever set out to achieve something, big or small, and you hear a voice in your head telling you how terribly you will fail? Or do you sometimes think you are not good enough and you just cannot do it? Many people have had an experience with this voice. It is self-doubt. This taunting voice beats you into a corner when you want to stand up to the high winds of challenges in life. All it does is criticise you and make you feel worthless.

The greedy nature of self-doubt ensures it sweeps clean all confidence, logic, and reason from your mind. It leaves you with unhappiness and depression. Your mind becomes occupied with fear and insecurity. But that should not be the case. Honore de Balzac couldn’t be more right when he said that, when you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt. The best you can do for yourself, with the help of self-knowledge, is to believe in yourself.

The good news is that the voice is made up in your mind, and there are ways to control it, rather than shutting it down completely. Failure to do this will plunge you into the ditch of fear, anxiety, and insecurity, and it is the last place you want to find yourself since you will feel like you have nothing worth living for. Paralysis, physical and emotional, may also ensue.

Benefits of believing in yourself

Resources, intelligence, and opportunity may contribute to the success of an individual, but when you look down deep into the core of the prosperity of successful people, you will find they started by believing in themselves.
Why would you believe in yourself?

If you don’t, no one will

Putting it simply, if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. If you want your boss to recognise your performance, you must clearly represent the qualities expected of you. If you’re going to convince investors to put their money in your business, you must show beyond doubt you have a firm conviction that your strategy will work.

Self-confidence builder

Self-confidence is an important attribute, especially when faced with challenges in life. One sure way of ensuring you will dig deep and stand firm is believing in yourself; the belief that comes from within enables you to face any challenge without succumbing to fear. If you feel that your self- esteem is in ruins, you may start with something small. Believe in your capability to speak up at the next meeting. Believe it so firmly that you see yourself speaking and providing input. You already know the topic of the meeting. Prepare yourself, think about potential questions.

A step closer to achieving your goal

Finding a way to shut down the inner voice that would tell you how big and unachievable your goal is, is crucial. You don’t want to be afraid to take steps towards success due to insecurity or self-doubt. Believing in yourself is one of the surest ways to make big strides towards the goal you have been chasing for a while now. You only need positive thinking and attitude to realise it will take you time and effort to achieve your target, but you will achieve it.

It’s an inspiration

When you believe in yourself, you give yourself the motivation to work harder every day to move forward and go for what you desire. In the wake of difficulties or even setbacks, you just cannot afford to stop. Self-doubt is the crusher of big dreams many people have in life. You need the driving force to make it in life, and inspiration is a significant boost.
Gives the realisation that mistakes are part of the process
Anyone telling you that you will always have a smooth ride in life towards your goal is lying. Failure is bound to attack when you think you have gotten to the level ground. The last thing you want to have by your side is self-doubt. It will make you believe that all is gone and there is nothing more to do. However, believing in yourself will make you realise that, once you fail, you better stand up, dust off, and move on because that is what the journey of life is about.

It gives you positive attitude

Winston Churchill once said attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. He was right. When you let negative thoughts flood your mind all the time, achieving your goal will be difficult. It is self-belief that makes you have the right attitude towards success.
Maybe you have lost the self-belief we have discussed in this article, and you are wondering how you can get it back. All is not lost. You can regain your confidence and become successful in life. The following are ways you can believe in yourself again.

Avoid people who bring you down

You have more than likely come across individuals who believe everything is impossible or so complicated that it is not worth the effort. These are the people you must avoid at all cost. They will do nothing less than shoot down your ideas when you come up with them, making you develop self-doubt and insecurity.

Identify your doubts

What are the things you think you cannot achieve in life? Why do you think you cannot achieve them? Identifying what you think you are not good at is a sure-fire way to overcome fears and doubt.

Count your achievements

One way to boost your self-confidence when you feel down is to count and celebrate your results and accomplishments, even the smallest ones. It is the time when the usual pep talk does not cut it. Get a pen and pencil and list your successes one by one. Having someone tell you what you have achieved over the years is also an excellent way to increase your confidence.

Love and trust yourself

What people with self-doubt lack is self-love and trust. These two make you understand that the cause of action you take is the right one and nothing will ever stop you from achieving your best.


3 Things That Might Hold You Back

And ways how you can avoid that.

Making a couple of good moves may be easy but repeating success poses a series of whole new challenges. Looking at all those successful people around you may make you wonder whether you are on the right track.

Read more3 Things That Might Hold You Back

What does it take to be confident?

Super BusinesswomanThat may seem like an ambiguous question, but it is, in fact, the very essence of what confidence is all about.

If we take the words self-confidence or self-acceptance or self-assuredness, the common denominator is self. How you feel about yourself is key to building a good self-attitude. Much like a manager who will try to build up his team’s morale, you must build up yours. Be your own manager.

There are decisions to make when it comes to beginning the courageous journey in finding your inner confidence. We all have it, you have it, even if you haven’t found your real voice yet. By addressing a few key areas of your life, you can unleash your best self.

When it comes to losing your confidence mojo, you may be able to relate to the challenges in Bridget Jones’s life, or you’re feeling a bit like Spiderman when he lost his powers and had an attack of low self-esteem. Know that you are not alone in the world, fictional or real.

So, how does one remedy this?

From career choices to work-life balance, from making hard decisions to crashing through those limits you set for yourself, there are ways to pull out that sanguine person buried deep.

Take heed of a few simple pointers that will get you thinking and finally bringing out your courage to be the best possible you; you can be.

Step out of your comfort zone

Take a step away from your physical self for just a moment. If this means looking deep into a mirror, pulling out old photos of yourself, or even asking a very close friend to analyse your attributes, then that is what you should do.

Read moreWhat does it take to be confident?