And ways how you can avoid that.
Making a couple of good moves may be easy but repeating success poses a series of whole new challenges. Looking at all those successful people around you may make you wonder whether you are on the right track.
Such thoughts are beneficial when it comes to checking on your progress and the overall direction of your life, but if you spend too much time pondering over your past failures or actions you label as failures, you might find yourself in the passive zone.
The passive zone is a period in your life, which might last hours or days, even weeks or months, and during that time you slow down; or even worse the fear that you cannot meet the expectations will paralyse you.
What could drive this paralysing feeling?
You probably failed in the past in a particular field, or someone told you that you failed.
When it comes to failure, it is better to step back a little and think about what failure means to you. Some see failure as a dreadful thing and associate the lack of success with it; and while this is partly right, failure itself can be rewarding, too.
What is this crazy article talking about, right?
Situations in which we don’t entirely achieve what we set out for ourselves are often excellent learning opportunities. If you take the time thinking about your situation and what exactly happened, you will undoubtedly find things that worked well and some that didn’t.
Let’s see an example:
You attend the job interview and you don’t get the role. In black and white, it is a failure. You needed a job, you had the chance to present your fitness for the position, and you didn’t get the role. Straightforward failure. Or is it?
Think about the whole process:
- Did you update your CV and did you include the relevant skills and experiences?
- How did you prepare for the interview?
- Did you do your research about the company?
- Can you remember the great and the less pleasant moments of the conversation?
If so, you can pinpoint when it didn’t work out so well.
People around you are telling you that you are not capable of accomplishing what you set out for yourself.
That is an interesting one because for that they must be in your shoes and they must live your life. Do they now?
Furthermore, they have to know you better than you know yourself. While there are people who have very little self-awareness, I don’t assume you are one. In fact, there is a tiny to zero chance that you are one. Do you know why? Because you are reading this article.
So why do these people tell you that you are not capable?
- They might not have a good view of your situation.
- They don’t know you very well yet.
- They wouldn’t be able to successfully deliver in a similar situation and assume you wouldn’t be able to do that either.
- They are worried about you because they think your goal is a considerable undertaking.
- They underestimate you.
- They are jealous.
These are just a couple of examples, but I am sure you get the picture. People around you may have several reasons to tell one thing or another, and it is up to you whether you let their opinion influence you and paralyse you.
You don’t take on a new responsibility at your job because you fear you won’t meet the expectations. Question is whether you really know what the expectations are, or you assume what the expectations would be.
You would be surprised just how many times people assume certain things. They look at someone’s face or try to interpret their gestures; they don’t ask for performance indicators or success factors.
Take time and figure out where your fear is coming from, understand the aspects of your concern. Get to know your fear before you decide facing it.
Yes, the final step is facing your fear. Now, if you think about holding a spider in the palm of your hand; that is not what I meant.
Once you understand your fear and where it is coming from, you will be able to handle it, because you will be able to see the root cause and deal with it; and once you dealt with the root cause itself, the fear will fade away.