That may seem like an ambiguous question, but it is, in fact, the very essence of what confidence is all about.
If we take the words self-confidence or self-acceptance or self-assuredness, the common denominator is self. How you feel about yourself is key to building a good self-attitude. Much like a manager who will try to build up his team’s morale, you must build up yours. Be your own manager.
There are decisions to make when it comes to beginning the courageous journey in finding your inner confidence. We all have it, you have it, even if you haven’t found your real voice yet. By addressing a few key areas of your life, you can unleash your best self.
When it comes to losing your confidence mojo, you may be able to relate to the challenges in Bridget Jones’s life, or you’re feeling a bit like Spiderman when he lost his powers and had an attack of low self-esteem. Know that you are not alone in the world, fictional or real.
So, how does one remedy this?
From career choices to work-life balance, from making hard decisions to crashing through those limits you set for yourself, there are ways to pull out that sanguine person buried deep.
Take heed of a few simple pointers that will get you thinking and finally bringing out your courage to be the best possible you; you can be.
Step out of your comfort zone
Take a step away from your physical self for just a moment. If this means looking deep into a mirror, pulling out old photos of yourself, or even asking a very close friend to analyse your attributes, then that is what you should do.
Feeling good about your inner life and outward appearance are top items on the list. It isn’t egotistical. It isn’t superficial. It is necessary and your family, friend or partner can help you with this. The way how your progress & look makes you feel is vital to building up that confidence in yourself.
Perhaps you’re a sloppy dresser. Perhaps you don’t pay attention to your hair or face. Maybe, you don’t stand up straight or bother with your diet and exercise routine. All these factors will show on your outer façade. Take pride in your body, in your appearance, and especially in how you speak.
The words that leave your mouth are just as important to your psyche as they are to the people that receive them. A wrong word can taint your opportunities in seconds.
Perhaps you have received only good feedback from your boss so far. Isn’t that suspicious? Is it possible that you don’t make mistakes at all?
You got to work-work-work
We all should work, but as soon as you take the work, add skills and mix in some ‘passion’ and ‘love’ then you are guaranteed to find the career that suits you better.
When it comes to career choices, we need to sit back and evaluate what skills and capabilities we have, how determined we are to go all the way, and what we really love and passionate about.
Being in a job that fulfills your ambition, but doesn’t fuel your joy and ardor is a waste of time and energy.
Equally a job that is joyful, but will get you stuck for years, will not help your development and won’t challenge you; and once the fun is over, you find yourself out in the world seeking for the lost paradise.
Building a career requires focus, dedication, and work.
If you need the courage to change jobs, whether well paid or not, gather your thoughts and list all that you believe you can achieve in your new job. Collect the benefits, and save your desires to fire your spirit when the going gets hard.
In other words, collect what you can get out of the new job and not what you would like to achieve with it.
And, yes, it will take time, but making that step in the direction of fearless, but realistic positivity, is a step that can make all the difference in your life.
Work out what makes you want to get up in the morning when it comes to the daily grind. Because, as soon as you start to focus on what that is, you will no longer look at it as the daily grind.
My secret is listing my goals and a couple of inspiring messages on google keep, which pops up every morning and reminds me where I am going and why. There are literally gazillion different tools that can help you keep your eyes on the ball. If it feels good, post pictures on your walls, make notes on the first page of the notebook you use every day, but make sure you will look at it every single day.
Keep your chin up
We are our worst enemy. And, sometimes, just like in all good novels, one should kill off your darlings.
Get rid of that little devil inside of your head that tells you daily that you are not good enough. Take a sledgehammer and beat her down. She doesn’t belong there. She is a jealous little bitch, and she needs to go.
A couple of surefire ways of starting off your day on a more positive note for you:
- Affirmations. It can be anything you want, as long as it is positive. It can change daily, or you can keep it the same every day so that they become embedded in your body, mind, and soul.
- Gratitude. It may sound strange, but most of the time we tend to walk past the wonders of life, sometimes as simple as a sunny day. Living in England, I learned to appreciate a sunny day. If you are juggling work and kids, you may be grateful to have some you time.
- Feeling happy for your partner or friend.
- Reminding yourself of a good memory. A memory of your last holiday, a good night out with your friends or family.
When you are feeling low, and that monster of negativity starts to claw her way up from the depths of your soul, just reach for your uplifting toolkit. It won’t solve all your problems but will help you see the world from a different angle and will give you the energy to go forward to solve your problems.
And that brings me to my next point.
We all have problems to solve
We all have a few problems that most times seem or feel like the world’s dilemmas. But, when you start to break them down, you will realise you are in a better position to solve them. And, all problems have a solution. It is the yin and yang of life.
It is easy to say, isn’t. Sometimes it is difficult to believe that there is a solution. At those times a little uplifting may help you start thinking about a solution, but you will need more to go on.
Solving a problem requires
- the ability to see cause and its effects,
- openness to view things from someone else’s point of view,
- creativity to see potential ways you haven’t seen before,
- courage to test yourself every step of the way and,
Once you started to develop your skills, one will enable the other; and a small success will give you the strength to achieve the next milestone.
Remember, we all have a problem to solve, so if you struggle to find understanding and collaboration, remind yourself, that others, out there, are also trying to find remedies to their problems.
It may happen that a solution for your problem is in the hands of someone else, who is looking for an answer that you have the key to.
If you feel you need to solicit the aid of a friend, family member, a colleague or your boss, then do so. You are not alone in this big bad world.
People like to feel needed, so reach out and need them. Oh, and it is not a sign of weakness. It is not a sign that your confidence level is waning. Asking for help is a very courageous thing to do. If it is helping towards the bigger picture, finding your self-confident self, then it makes sense to do it.
If you are interested to learn about ways to develop problem-solving mindset, and skills, click here …
Celebrate your uniqueness
You are the only you there is, so find those unique aspects about yourself, and celebrate them.
Much like we constantly think about the one we are in love with, or with whom we are infatuated with, so should you be with your splendid self.
Falling in love with yourself starts with focusing on you and all those parts you know are original and absolutely fabulous. Again, make a list. Mental or otherwise. List those traits that make you.
Maybe you react in anger too quickly. Maybe you have a habit of taking too long to decide on something. You may have the amazing ability to spurt milk out of your nose. Okay, so that one is a little weird, but hey, how many others can do that? You may be the best speller on the planet. You may even be able to clock a five-mile run in under 30 minutes.
Who knows what you’re capable of? But take a deep, and eye-opening look at yourself, because you own that body. You own that mind and soul. Make yourself the best project you have ever worked on.
You won’t believe the difference you will feel in yourself once you accept yourself and all that magnificentness. (Yep, I made that last word up!)
Because you are magnificent. Those limits you place on yourself need to be broken. And today is the day to break them.
Would you like to learn more about building self-confidence, please click here.